I happened across this piece of writing i did in 2006. it was a meditation i found very effective, and tried to do whenever i had the energy. it could be a template for anyone, but is written obvsly with my specifics
anyway its kinda goofy but wtv.
FADE IN:
EXT. SHOT – DAY:
A long empty BEACH. Sunny not hot. 50 feet from the surf, tall dry grasses, growing closely in clumps.
A WOMAN sits amid the grasses. 25 feet behind the woman, the manicured lawn begins. a little farther off a house, in the distance a drive. On the lawn the children play, self-contained.
She sits in the tall grasses and watches the water breathe. She’s wearing something grey/black and comfortable. She’s middle aged, 35-45, average completely: shoulder length brown slightly wavy hair, med complexion (ethnicity?), average body type, sort of pretty (plain), brown eyes.
She looks at the water; she’s coping with life, good things, bad things, same as anyone, the details don’t matter. Her eyes open and close slowly, a faint smile and slow, relaxed breathing.
Woman (V.O)
Breathe 1-2. Hold.
Breathe 1-2-3-4-5. Slowly out.
She closes and opens her eyes slowly. Pulls her shoulders up and squints out into the horizon. The sun is about 3:30pm. Skimming clouds. A yellowish white hue to the sky, hints of grey clouds offset the greyness of the sea gently arching its great back. She matches her breath to the rhythm of the lifting and lowering.
Woman (V.O.)
It’s OK to let go. Now is all that matters. Now is all that is real.
There is no past. Memories are a creation of my present mind.
The future is imaginary.
Only now is real.
She turns suddenly to look back toward the house when there is a loud shriek from the children. She seems to want to get up, but hesitates, waits, then settles back into the sand. She takes deep breaths, eventually blinking slowly, focusing on the horizon again. Stops, checks over her shoulder, sighs and then resumes the calm breathing, eyes close.
Woman (V.O.)
Breathe in light. 1-2-3. Breathe out all the cares.
There is no “I”. There is only action. There is only energy.
I am not an employee.
Several types of ringing, the sound of typing, distant voices of men. The woman’s face becomes clearer. She appears to be sleeping. Breathing deeply.
Woman (V.O.)
I am not an employee.
I am a timeless source of energy and love.
Breath 1-2-3.
I am not a friend.
Chattering in the air, laughter, indecipherable voices merge
Woman (V.O.)
I am not a friend. Letting go of all external labels to become one
with my true self. Breathe 1-2-3.
I am not a wife.
A MAN approaches her brusquely from behind, leaning over her, hands on her shoulders, intent.
Man
Honey? Honey. A couple of the guys are coming for dinner when are you coming to bed I thought we talked about this already there’s just no money for that right now I don’t care what your sister said
He straights behind her, her eyes remain closed. He fades. Her face flattens slightly. She takes a deep breath.
Woman (V.O.)
I am not a wife.
I am energy. 1-2-3. in this moment.
I am not a sister.
Three PEOPLE materialize on the sand in front of her. One man bounces a volleyball on his knee and grins at her.
Brother 1
Yeah you know you just got to keep it up that’s just how it is. Did I tell you I’ve been doing yoga it’s like I can’t believe it but every time I do yoga I’m like, “I love yoga!” I’m doing this garden weeds diet. they pick up the minerals from the earth right? and you just gotta let things go, I’m like whatever.
Behind him a woman stands askance with folded arms, a loaded look in her face. She tightens up her mouth and then looks away shaking her head. From the right a different man approaches with a limp. He’s bedraggled and dirty. He leans forward, confidingly
Brother 2
Hey sis can you help me out, help me out man I need 20 bucks, I got to pay a ticket, bill, I need some gas, hey come on I’ll get you back, you got 40?
Her face tightens and body stiffens. She bites her lips and breathes overly deep. Some time passes before her brow relaxes again.
Woman (V.O.)
I am not a sister.
I am energy. I move only in this moment.
The memories of past events are for learning only and never to be held closely or to hurt myself. Guilt is irrelevant. I do the best I can in this moment.
This moment I choose to relax and forget about everything else,
because it does not exist in this moment.
There is only the sea, the sinking sun, the sand, the air
and this energy that is me.
I am not a sister.
I am not a child.
An OLDER WOMAN materializes beside her. She is heavy, with ill applied make-up. She seeks with desperate eyes.
Older Woman
If you don’t call me, no one calls me. Maybe Michael. I’m so tired. I can’t take much more, I don’t know what I’ll do, never have children, I can’t even afford my medicine, I tried to call for someone to come out but he just took the money and ran your dad was horrible he sat on the couch all day watching star trek he never said he loved me not once he packed his bags and left didn’t even want to talk about it never trust a man, I have 50,000 of life insurance for you kids when I die OK sometimes I think about just driving in front of that truck!
She fades and reappears and fades and reappears as dialogue continues, fading in and out. Finally she flickers out quickly with the comment of the truck. Behind her, previously hidden from view, a grave. A BOY squats on top of it, tearing open a fish with his mouth, he looks at her and then up to the sky, to the sound of a jet plane. The woman opens her eyes to look up but the plane is gone, the boy and the grave are gone. The woman hangs her head for a moment and closes her eyes again. Breathes a long, slow breath.
Woman (V.O.)
I am not a child.
I extend from nothing, I go nowhere.
There is only here.
I am not a woman.
Her breasts begin to deflate, and she falls back into the tall grass. She spreads her arms to the sides and her body appears to melt a little. A tear falls, her lips quiver as she breathes deeply several times.
Woman (V.O.)
I am not a woman.
A darkness edges into the sides of the screen, the house falls away behind her, the car on the drive, the drive, the grasses blow as if pressed by a steady wind, the sea begins to rise, encroaching from impossible angles, the sky brightens.
Woman (V.O.)
This is all.
(pause)
I am not a mother.
A wave of pain washes over her face, washes her face away into darkness, a dark cavity grows in the space below her belly button as the crying and laughter of infants intermingles with the energetic voices of children, and she pants now in the growing gale.
Woman (V.O.)
I am not a writer.
The wind dies and there is a great silence as she holds her breath. The sun becomes so bright that there is nothing left but it and the sea which surges beneath her now and lifts her, turning her gaunt body slowly in its salty plume, her arms outstretched, fingers lifting the foamy peaks.
Woman (V.O., whisper)
I am not.
Her body disintegrates into a blue gel that bulges and melds roughly into an undulating ball, giving off sparks of white light. The sea is overtaken by light and there is only light with her blue ball of energy at its center.
CONSIDERATIONS:
USE AS A SKELETON: ADD FLASHBACK SCENES W/EACH LAYER
ALT ENDING: PULL BACK TO WOMAN ON BEACH, STANDS, WALKS BACK TO HOUSE
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Station H 